It is almost Christmas! I am still here! The time has definitely flown by! I didn’t stick to my posting weekly and here’s why….it all started in November when I started to feel less then inspired or motivated, discouraged even. With world events going on out there that had put me in a bit of a funk and then also in a state of thinking that what I had going on is way less problematic then I was making it to be and others out there have it much worse, but yet here I was sulking so to speak over my own mediocre dilemmas. I feel though this is kind of normal(or maybe not), to feel unsure at times and to think of all the things at once that are going on in life. For me I spend far to much time thinking which is the best way to go with anything. Every time I sat down at the computer to type something up I would either get started and not finish or open up a page and then close it up and do something else. Today I need to write, put out there what I have been feeling. Being honest and open is what I’m all about and maybe others go through the same stuff from time to time in the same way or in similar ways.
I decided that I needed to allow myself to take a break from some things and along with that was my Friday blog post, even though I had just got on a good roll with it! I felt I needed to take a moment to refocus. I knew I would come back around and start feeling motivated again.
I didn’t give up on making time for the gym either, I was hoping it would make me feel better, and it did it just took time. I was happy that I made the time and put the effort in to go and that I didn’t allow myself to slack off physically when mentally in November the emotions sure hit hard and my insecurities really got the best of me.
I think in life we all need those reset days or moments and every once in a while they are usually forced upon us, like when you go down with a cold its usually when you have been so busy and not resting that your body is like enough I am going to make you stop and rest for a bit so you get knocked down with something and have to be grounded and forced to rest. With me it had been stress, anxiety and also the fact my body has been adjusting with the thyroid medication and I’m always a jumbled mess for a while 😅 The fact that I don’t manage stress very well doesn’t help, even the little things stress me out. I really do enjoy this season but the stress of the holidays is upon us, the fact that my girls both need braces, expenses that just keep growing, there is always something and I try not to worry. I tend to however allow the stress to build and eventually my body is like no more and then I get filled with the worst anxiety from whatever stems it at the time and it feels so terrible. It feels like it is never going away but then it does, thankfully! It can be a bit draining on the soul but it is what it is. I get through whatever it is, try to grow from it, try to do better and be better. I’m trying to allow for the time it takes to get there and go through all the motions. I’m one to try and see the good in everything even when things seem tough so I keep a smile on my face and try to stay positive!
Over the last few weeks it has been filled with a few good times with friends and families and that is what I love most about this time of year, that we all try to make time to see those that we haven’t in a while. It does make me feel sad for those I don’t get to see and to see how traditions have changed over the years, that some things aren’t the same but slowly over time notice that we have created new traditions and things my girls look forward to. Seeing this time of year through their eyes is fun, their excitement and must do’s this time of year, it helps make the stress of it all worth it.
As I move out of this funky state and roll into this better mindset, I see that things and feelings aren’t permanent and how a day or even a few minutes or hours can change us and that by flowing with all that life hands us even if it isn’t easy or isn’t what we expected, that mind over matter plays a huge role. What we say to ourselves and what we allow ourselves to feel is so important. I am learning to just let things happen, roll with it and don’t give up, and of course rest when needed. As time goes on I know I’ve worked through a lot of emotions and push myself on the daily to do things and get life stuff done, and I am thankful that I have done some things that may have felt hard or I didn’t think I needed to do. Those little things can and do turn into big things and/or memories made.
For now that is where I will leave things!
I hope everyone is enjoying this holiday season, celebrating, making or keeping traditions and enjoying the family and friends you have in your life! ❤😊
I look forward to sharing more in the new year!